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Post by q8 on Aug 23, 2005 11:39:26 GMT
Well Gent.s the day came and it could not have been better. I had a grand time for which I thank all who were able to attend from the bottom of my heart.
You made a fat old fart wonderfully happy. I am sorry I spoilt the end of the day by having my bloody heart playing up and putting DD to the expense of a cab to the station (let me know how much Dave, please?)
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Now on to something more serious. Over the I have been used to people corresponding with me in all sorts of ways but when I meet them face-to-face they seem to go cold and want to get away.
Now tell me true lads what is it about me that does that? Do I smell? Have I bad breath? Is my attitude wrong? I can't fathom it but I am used to it.
So lads tell me the on-the-chin, straight up, honest to God truth. What causes the reaction? If I know I can do something about it.
Once again May God Bless you all and thank you for a wonderul day.
Bob
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2005 12:10:21 GMT
Without offending you maybe it could be your voice?
I won't certainly go cold when I meet you! I think you are a unsung hero for battling with the thing that made you like that!
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Post by compsci on Aug 23, 2005 12:32:43 GMT
My Grandfather's voice has been severely affected by multiple strokes. It was a big shock for the whole family at first, but we've gradually become used to it. (Even before then he spoke in such broad Geordie that understanding him could be problematic anyway). Since I'm used to talking to him, I didn't find talking to you to be especially different or problematic.
I think that (unfortunately) many people have needless negative reactions to any form of disability, especially those which aren't immediately obvious. Grandad resorted to carrying a white stick around with him in public as his tunnel vision causes him to sometimes bump into things, and people assumed that he must be drunk or similar.
Frankly I'd say it's their problem for reacting the way they do, but that won't do much to correct things.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2005 12:35:26 GMT
Whilst I can't comment as I wasn't there, Q8, you have a PM.
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Phil
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RIP 23-Oct-2018
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Post by Phil on Aug 23, 2005 12:50:19 GMT
Quite honestly, I think the problem on Saturday was simple geography. Once you were in the chair with a table in front of you and furniture all around it was just difficult to get close enough to comunicate effectively. In fact, for me, it was easier to chat to you on the floor at EC because getting close was not a problem there- and NO! you do not have B.O. or halitosis or any other problem of that kind.
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Chris M
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Post by Chris M on Aug 23, 2005 12:53:50 GMT
I appologise if I acted cold towards you, I certainly didn't intend to.
I have a difficult time in pub-type environments in picking out one voice from a crowd of voices at the best of times. This means that at times I either loose all conversations or have to go with the conversation with the strongest voices.
Chris
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Post by q8 on Aug 23, 2005 12:57:28 GMT
I appologise if I acted cold towards you, I certainly didn't intend to.
I have a difficult time in pub-type environments in picking out one voice from a crowd of voices at the best of times. This means that at times I either loose all conversations or have to go with the conversation with the strongest voices.
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No, no, no, I don't mean anyone specific. It's just a thing I have noticed over the years and wondered if the there was something about me that was off-putting.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2005 19:28:13 GMT
I'd agree with rbruce1314 on this subject... you were set in a place that was quite hard to get to, with the table in the way and the armrests on each side of the settee...
I also think that the Internet is an easier medium of communication than speech, especially when your voice has been affected by the Big C...
Nothing at all wrong with you Q8, you're a VERY kind fella...
Sam
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Post by chris on Aug 23, 2005 19:30:47 GMT
Nothing at all wrong with you Q8, you're a VERY kind fella... Although i've never met you, i can vouch for that fully. |
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Post by Christopher J on Aug 23, 2005 19:51:52 GMT
I never found nothing wrong with you at all Q8, I respect people for who they are and not their physical problems! You're no different to anybody else on the meet, we all treat eachother the same way - with respect! It was great to meet you and I really did enjoy it! You're a kind person with a heart! Don't worry about what happened at the end of the meet, at the time the only thing running though my mind was to get you on the move back to Chris Ws house safely rather than make you walk the whole way which may have caused you more problems. I truly had a great day and I do wish for many more to come with you attending where possible!  |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2005 19:57:36 GMT
Robert!  I didnt see any problem on the forum meet, and I do not have a problem with your 'condition' if thats the right word. However without being nasty / harsh or anything like that, i would hazard a guess that some people do not like being close to others, and because it is better to do that to communicate effectively with you, this may put them off. From what I saw at the weekend, there wasnt an issue, and I personally havnt got a problem, it was good to meet you finnaly, hope you enjoyed the meet as did the rest of us! Chris |
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Post by Chris W on Aug 23, 2005 20:53:13 GMT
Bob et al My g'friend and I discussed this subject with Bob when he stayed with us during the weekend... Many people find it difficult to meet/converse with someone who is different from their normal envelope of experience... meeting someone who appears to be physically different; be that physical disfiguration, disability or whatever can result in someone being unable/find it difficult to relate to another due to embarrassment or perhaps simply being scared of saying the wrong thing. Bob - you have had to put up with a lot in your life yet you still remain positive... don't let others' prejudice or insecurity have a negative effect on you... just take it on board i.e. understand that some people may find approaching/talking with you difficult (act accordingly if you genuinely feel there could be a problem) and react with humility as you obviously do. Judging by the responses so far to this thread you have some great friends here Bob.... we're here for you |
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Post by chris on Aug 24, 2005 9:00:26 GMT
I have a friend from school who had a problem with speech. He got the mick taken out of him and people didn't want to talk to him 'cos it annoyed them. It even annoyed a teacher to the extent she wrote in his school diary to stop it and talk properly. Made her even more so unpopular.
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Post by redsam on Aug 24, 2005 15:02:30 GMT
I think the problem is generic - nothing to do with you as a person Q8, but the situation you all found yourself in.
When you get to know people very well in a certain medium, like on this forum, when you meet for the first time in "the real world" it is guarenteed to be disconcerting - people look, sound, talk, act different to how you expect. That means that your brain gets confused - why are these people we know so well acting so different? The answer is that they arent, but it takes time to allow the brain to rectify that fact.
It does mean that the second time you all meet up, things will be a lot easier - except for those people who are going for the first time! ;-)
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Post by Admin Team on Aug 24, 2005 17:06:13 GMT
For some reason - probably because I'm a twit (anyone who agrees will be banned! ) - I've only just spotted this thread, but in some ways I'm glad, as it's been interesting to read the comments made by others. Firstly Bob, I'd have done the same for anyone, and no I won't tell you how much the cab was! You were more than generous on Saturday to not only me, but all those who were there! But on your 'other' questions, personally I reckon this is how you perceive yourself, as much as how others actually see you; there have been many constructive replies here and I agree with them all, and chris W has summed it up very well IMHO. Those sort of gatherings are always difficult though - I was very conscious (later  ) of not having to spoken to everyone as much as I'd wanted to and was concerned that I'd missed anyone out - groups like that are always a challenge in some ways.... So don't you try to change - you are who you are, and I think I can say for us all that we respect you for that. I have no 'problem' with you in any way, in fact I hope that if ever I find myself in your situation I can be as positive about it as you are. |
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) of not having to spoken to everyone as much as I'd wanted to and was concerned that I'd missed anyone out - groups like that are always a challenge in some ways....
