"tricks" to get a seat

Always get in the front carriage, because that will inevitably be the furthest from yours and everybody else's exit off the Tube to work/uni/whatever, so should always be the least crowded. Have a look if you can at where the last-minute Larry's & Leonora's get in, and it will be the middle or end ones, because that's where the entrances to the platforms are usually situated as well.

Leave for work 10-15 mins earlier than need be, so you can explore 2 or 3 stations further back rather than just one, or trial that first on a day's leave but at peak hours. You could also use that 10-15 mins on leave day to trial taking the 2nd or 3rd train & see if that makes a difference-most of my recent experience hasn't been in peak periods, but changing from Central to Northern at Bank the year before last in September was at 17:00 and the first train southwards from Bank was impossible to get on to at all, the second looked merely insufferable, even if we were only going one stop. Third one had seats, even if Mrs tbf was hoicked bodily into one of the two vacant by a force of nature known as me!

Try catching the same train, and getting in the same carriage for 3 days in a row, see if the same people are there each day & clock where they get off-if a seat becomes vacant every day after, say, two stops and yours' is an eight-stop journey, you've found a winner. Most people are creatures of habit

If you are still forced to stand, massage a knee or ankle as openly as possible, somebody may take the hint and offer you a seat, but if anybody asks, make sure you say it's an hereditary and permanent condition, which is inconvenient and not a real disability, so you can keep the gig going.

1. If your station has a lot of incoming traffic (or it's an interchange) wait near the exit - that's where most regulars travelling to the station will get off, and thus where there will be most space on the train. Failing that, choose the carriage which will be nearest the exit at the next station.

2. If standing, get as far from a door as possible, then anyone vacating a seat will not have to squeeze past you to get out, meaning you can slide gracefully into their place.

3. Bring your own seat - a large suitcase will do, or possibly a shooting stick.

Consider where large numbers of passengers are likely to interchange. A passenger on a westbound Piccadilly service, for example, is liable to see lots of passengers change at Finsbury Park, KX, Holborn etc in the morning peak. A seat may therefore be obtained when passengers leave at these stations.

If a seat is desired, stay in the middle of the seats so that you will be closer than another passenger.

Travel in the 'peak shoulders' i.e. when the train service is being increased to peak levels just before the peak times, or is dropping off and returning to depots for the interpeak or evening service. Setting off home at 3.30pm gives a frequent service which is comfortable, as does setting off at 7.30pm.

This does not always work. For example it's a bad plan heading east in the evening peak on the Central line as the exit at South Woodford is right at the front of the train so that's a very crowded part of the train until then. Similarly the back is very crowded until Leytonstone for the same reason (exits at Leyton and there), but after those stations you're almost never going to have to stand.

On DLR trains heading to Bank, travel in the middle of the train - the exits are by the second doors from the front (Central, W&C, north end of the Northern, Bank exits) and third from the back (Circle, District, south end of the Northern, Monument exits). Out of town always wait for the second Lewisham train and wait by the doors as soon as the train before leaves.

Mrs Norbiton has tried all of those (not in that order!) None of them are completely reliable. But at least you can lean on a walking stick!

Don't publish your tricks on the internet

Get a Tower Hill starter on the District Line.

Tread in dog mess just before boarding a train.
Unfortunately I did this one occasion. I had a heavy cold at the time so it took me a while before I could smell it, and I thought my cold was the reason people were giving me a wide berth...

I used a similar trick at university trying to get a lift to the 12th floor. Walk up one floor then get the lift down and all the way up!

I have heard that passengers wanting the westbound Central line at Bethnal Green in the morning peak travel east to Mile End or Stratford first, not so they can get a seat but so they can physically board a train.

Interesting, I never failed to get a seat at Debden westbound in the morning peak in the few months I commuted from there. Getting from the seat to the platform at Liverpool Street was a much trickier proposition - on one occasion it took so long I had to alight at Bank.

Its a good rule to assume that the carriage which empties most will be the one closest to the exit. From experience, it seems that 'corner' seats often empty first, rather than those in the middle of a row. Recently i have had serious issues getting a northbound seat from baker st to northwick park. Other than getting a starting @ baker street train, what can i do? Where should i stand along the platform to maximise getting a seat, at least by finchley rd?

I would have recommended getting into the first car if the A stock was still running, but I assume S stock fills up more uniformly. And there are far fewer seats.

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