roythebus
Pleased to say the restoration of BEA coach MLL738 is as complete as it can be, now restoring MLL721
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Post by roythebus on Mar 1, 2009 12:00:39 GMT
In these enlightened days of elfen safetea and politicial correctness, can anyone recall some of the practical jokes that used to be played on the Underground?
One for starters:
new recruits being shown round Ealing Common Depot, one particularly thick guard from the East end, asked how to wash his hands. At the time, the wash basin was about 20' long with taps coming out of the wall and a push button on the floor.
"How do I get water out" he asks. "rub the tap" says the instructor. Of course, water issued forth. He stops rubbing, water stops coming...of course, the instructor put his foot on the pedal as soon as starts rubbing! I think he went home with greasy hands that day and we all went home smiling.
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Post by maxtube on Mar 1, 2009 12:08:23 GMT
Haha! There was a publicity stunt on the platform at Ongar, where the BBC believed they had found Scorpions. And of course, the vast collection of funny PAs: solo2.abac.com/themole/#heroes |
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slugabed
Zu lang am schnuller.
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Post by slugabed on Mar 1, 2009 12:30:25 GMT
Haha! There was a publicity stunt on the platform at Ongar, where the BBC believed they had found Scorpions. NO!!! I thought that was REAL!! I remember it,they had a biologist there and everything,and they said that a tiny scorpion, 1" long or so,lived under the platform at Ongar.These scorpions were,they said,common enough in Europe,but this was the first colony found in the UK. They even showed the little fellas,if I remember correctly.... So who did the joke.....the BBC,the biologist,or some station staff with time on their hands??? PS(Edit): I've just looked up "Scorpion" on Wikipedia (yes,I know!) and it says that there have been 5 colonies of Euscorpia flavicaudis found in the UK,including one at Sheerness in Kent (described as the Northernmost scorpions IN THE WORLD!!).No mention of Ongar either way. The "Ongar Station" entry says it has been described as a hoax perpetrated by a Station Foreman,but asks for confirmation/citation.The BBC "Wildlife on One" proramme showed the footage,but I remember seeing a clip on Nationwide" or whatever the regional news was called at the time (1979?) |
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Tom
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Post by Tom on Mar 1, 2009 14:10:02 GMT
Haha! There was a publicity stunt on the platform at Ongar, where the BBC believed they had found Scorpions. NO!!! I thought that was REAL!! That was real - Rails Through The Clay mentions how they were purchased from a pet shop in Camden and released at Ongar. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 14, 2009 10:49:10 GMT
I heard about a great payback from a practical joke from steam days at Eastleigh. Junior firemen often used to get the 'go and get me a bucket of steam' request from the older Drivers. One returned and threw a bucket of water over the Driver and said 'it condensed.....'!
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Post by maxtube on Mar 14, 2009 10:50:58 GMT
I heard about a great payback from a practical joke from steam days at Eastleigh. Junior firemen often used to get the 'go and get me a bucket of steam' request from the older Drivers. One returned and threw a bucket of water over the Driver and said 'it condensed.....'! Ha! Brilliant! ;D ;D ;D ;D |
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Post by carlovel1 on Mar 14, 2009 13:40:13 GMT
Great website  I was ROFLMAO hahahaha!!! ;D ;D ;D |
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roythebus
Pleased to say the restoration of BEA coach MLL738 is as complete as it can be, now restoring MLL721
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Post by roythebus on Mar 20, 2009 21:50:06 GMT
A certain District PG motorman, Harry, got gapped on Putney Bridge one evening.
A knock on the driver's door, Harry M opened it and a chap in a suit asked "what's the problem driver?" "Run ahhta shillin's guv" says Harry.
The suit happened to be one Mr.Cope!! Needless to say, Harry and train sat there a while waiting for his hapless guard Lou L to get the jumper cables out and get them moving again.
Mr Cope was less than impressed. Harry got pensioned off as a lift attendant at 55 Broadway last I heard of him, no throgh that incident though.
Harry was one of those always cheerful, the one who's find a white stick and get Lou to walk him down the front of the train to take over..the one who'd call the guard on the Loudaphone then drop the handle so the gaurd got a mouthfull of ceramic mouthpiece..
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2009 23:34:37 GMT
Some of the ones that went down in Eastleigh steam folklore were the firework in the Arctic Roll, The detonator (fog signal) down the flue of the stove in the messroom and many more. One that seemed to work often by all accounts was the trick of the perpertrator rushing into the messroom to tell the victim to 'hurry up, the supervisor's got a job for you'. The victim would then grab his bag in a hurry and nearly pull his arm from its socket as the first Driver had either hidden a fishbolt in his bag or nailed it to the table!
My own personal favourite was about a shunt Driver who got on an 08 shunter and moved off to be confronted by a loud 'bang' as a detonator went off. Next day, before he moved, he checked the road ahead before proceeding. This time the bang was instant as the detonator had been placed right against the wheel surface. On the third ocasion he walked round the loco checking the rails around the loco before moving off. He succeeded in moving without any problem but when he applied the brakes all hell broke loose. A detonator had been attached to each brake block!
Don't try these at home kids.....
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roythebus
Pleased to say the restoration of BEA coach MLL738 is as complete as it can be, now restoring MLL721
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Post by roythebus on Mar 20, 2009 23:40:58 GMT
Hmm, a bit like the days at Top Shed, King's Cross.
Apparently the toilets there were somewhat primitive and consisted of a number of cubicles with wooden seats; no proper toilets, just a gulley that led to the "outlet" by Trap 6. It was common for someone to block the outlet, then set fire to oily rags in Trap 1 and let it float down to Trap 6 at the outlet, especially when someone was sitting there!!
Oh, and the one at Stratford loco, where someone would get some dog's doo, wrap it in newspaper and set fire to it outside the foreman's office, then knock on the door and leg it.
Of course, the foreman, seeing the paper on fire would stamp on it to put it out....
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 22, 2009 2:13:52 GMT
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Colin
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Post by Colin on Mar 22, 2009 3:32:08 GMT
To sum it up in one word.......safer.
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Post by tubeprune on Mar 22, 2009 6:56:28 GMT
A certain District PG motorman, Harry, got gapped on Putney Bridge one evening. A knock on the driver's door, Harry M opened it and a chap in a suit asked "what's the problem driver?" "Run ahhta shillin's guv" says Harry. The suit happened to be one Mr.Cope!! Needless to say, Harry and train sat there a while waiting for his hapless guard Lou L to get the jumper cables out and get them moving again. Mr Cope was less than impressed. Harry got pensioned off as a lift attendant at 55 Broadway last I heard of him, no throgh that incident though. Harry was one of those always cheerful, the one who's find a white stick and get Lou to walk him down the front of the train to take over..the one who'd call the guard on the Loudaphone then drop the handle so the gaurd got a mouthfull of ceramic mouthpiece.. I remember this guy! He ran into Earls Court EB one morning kneeling on the phone box behind the controller wearing a schoolboy's cap. He was also the one who, as he ran into the station, chucked a baloon full of water over the spares sitting in the sun outside the messroom at PG. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 22, 2009 12:07:35 GMT
Safety was never compromised by practical jokes in the mess environment. It seems that, on the modern railway, staff are actively discouraged from daring to have a personality! L-o-v-e that schoolcap prank!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2009 12:11:12 GMT
I remember an East London driver who got a shop dummy and covered it in tomato sauce and left it on the track, he went told the SM their was a body on the track. The SM ran back and called the Police before he could be told the truth. The driver was done for wasting police time, DBd and dipped. He's now a DMT.
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roythebus
Pleased to say the restoration of BEA coach MLL738 is as complete as it can be, now restoring MLL721
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Post by roythebus on Mar 31, 2009 20:47:52 GMT
Yes tubeprune, it was the same Harry M. The same Harry M who would keep a white stick in his locker, would occasionally take it on a trip with him and get his guard Lou L to show him the way to the front of the train at EC...
The same crew working a Dagenham train one day, when it arrived at Becontree in the EB main, Lou started to tip everyone out. Harry asks what he's doing. Well, we're terminating in the main for some reason. "Expletive deleted" said Harry, "this is Becontree, not Dagenham".
With that, Harry went in the train, lifted a seat, banged something with his reverser key and shouted "there, that's fixed it. You can all get back on now". And on they went.
I don't know if Harry or Lou are still around, but they were a pair of characters. Last I saw of Harry was as a lift attendant at 55 Broadway. Lou, an ex BR fireman from Lancashire, went on to become motorman.
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Ben
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Post by Ben on Apr 2, 2009 20:31:46 GMT
I'd love to see a piano on a tube train. I've often mused about a 'flash-orchestra' busking between a couple of stops. Wonder whether the accoustic would be good?
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Post by maxtube on Apr 2, 2009 21:00:37 GMT
Found this on YouTube:
Quite a funny thing to do on the tube!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2009 21:17:09 GMT
Ahh, not least the T&BBTKB1 Railway, aka the South Acton branch! ;D
1 There and back before the kettle boils.
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mrfs42
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Post by mrfs42 on Apr 2, 2009 21:21:48 GMT
I think (pre-Fleet Line opening) there was a string quartet with canapes for 'do' at Bond Street on the train.
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roythebus
Pleased to say the restoration of BEA coach MLL738 is as complete as it can be, now restoring MLL721
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Post by roythebus on Apr 3, 2009 21:16:01 GMT
then of course there was an operating apprentice Charlie B, weel know at Golder Green where he was a box boy and later at PG and Acton as a guard.
One day, Charlie came for a trip with me to Upminster. On the way, he found a gorilla mask from somewhere. We had a CO stock and charlie wore the mask while sticking his head out to do the doors.
On the way back, coming through the city, probably at Charing Cross (as it was then), a load of students in gorilla outfits got on...
So, Charlie dons the gorilla mask, complete with LT uniform, went through the middle doos and said in a gruff voice "tickets please". Well, the normal punters shuffled about in their bags and pockets to find their tickets, while the gorillas started undressing to fond their! All for a chap in LT uniform wearing a gorilla mask....Talk about laugh, me and Charlie near wet ourselves on the way to EC.
It couldn't possibly happen today..or could it?
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roythebus
Pleased to say the restoration of BEA coach MLL738 is as complete as it can be, now restoring MLL721
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Post by roythebus on Apr 17, 2009 9:44:52 GMT
Speaking with Bigal the other day he reminded me of when he was at White City on a training course.
My brother was an operating apprentice, later a guard, then left LT to join the Met Police at Shepherds Bush.
Bigal and a couple of other trainee inspectors went for lunch on the the Green. Returning to the school, they were approached by a couple of copper, who grabbed Bigal, told him to assume the position and flung him against a wall.
The other 2 ran for it back to the school. then there was laughter as Bigal recovered from the shock and realinsed it was my brother and his mate having a wind-up!! Bigal had a bit of explaining to do back at the school but wasn't very impressed by the "help" from his classmates.
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roythebus
Pleased to say the restoration of BEA coach MLL738 is as complete as it can be, now restoring MLL721
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Post by roythebus on Oct 3, 2009 13:45:39 GMT
And another one involving Bigal, working the Putney Bridge-Edgware Road service.
At Putney Bridge one fine day, I thought I'd get one up on him so took the deadman off. It was quite simple on the CO/P stock, just undo the circlip, push the pin through and take the big brass handle off.
About a minute before departure time, Bigal came wandering down the platform talking to another guard, laughing away to themselves, with his hands behind his back.
Bigal says to me "what do you do if this falls off" and waved the deadman at me. "Dunno" I says, "probably the same as when THIS falls off" and waved the OTHER deadman at him!!
All three of us fell on the platform laughing! Who ever would have thought to do the same trick to each other at the same time??
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Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2009 19:29:07 GMT
I just love this thread! Another detonator story involved a pair of young fireman who were working in Southampton docks in the late 40s. They were in the pub between shunts (it was a long time ago) when Wally nipped out for a minute. He came back and beckoned Pete to the front door. 'Look at this' he said. A tram was trundling along outside and stopped abruptly as an almighty 'bang' went off from the detonator that Wally had placed on the tram lines. The two of them giggled while trying not to attract the attention of the tram driver. Then Pete said 'we'd better get back in or he'll suspect'. Wally replied 'No, hang on a minute, I've done the other road!'
Wally passed away some years ago but Pete is still with us and attends the annual Eastleigh re-union as a hale and hearty 80-something year old. His company is now and has always been a pleasure to be in. Working as his Guard many years ago used to see me finish the shift with my sides hurting from laughing! I don't know about LT but characters such as this are pretty much a thing of the past on the national network.
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roythebus
Pleased to say the restoration of BEA coach MLL738 is as complete as it can be, now restoring MLL721
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Post by roythebus on Oct 5, 2009 19:24:22 GMT
Reading about practical jokes with trams, there was a chap at the MRC years ago who used to be manager at Birmingham Tramways, a 3'6 gauge system IIRC.
There used to be a policecar the occupants of which loved to catch trams speeding at night, remember trams at the time were limited to 20mph.
One night the tram driver and conductor were on the look-out for the cop car; when the conductor saw it behind, he gave the emergency stop bell. The driver applied the magnetic track brake which brought the tram to a dead stand in about 10'.
Of course, not having brake lights, the cop car managed to run into the back of the tram with what my contact said was "near fatal consequences". One example of a practical joke if you can call it that, going wrong. The police were told not to chase trams for speeding after that.
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Post by Bighat on Oct 5, 2009 20:39:33 GMT
Reading about practical jokes with trams, there was a chap at the MRC years ago who used to be manager at Birmingham Tramways, a 3'6 gauge system IIRC. There used to be a policecar the occupants of which loved to catch trams speeding at night, remember trams at the time were limited to 20mph. One night the tram driver and conductor were on the look-out for the cop car; when the conductor saw it behind, he gave the emergency stop bell. The driver applied the magnetic track brake which brought the tram to a dead stand in about 10'. Of course, not having brake lights, the cop car managed to run into the back of the tram with what my contact said was "near fatal consequences". One example of a practical joke if you can call it that, going wrong. The police were told not to chase trams for speeding after that. THAT story sounds more of an urban myth than anything. Trams are light railways, and are not subject to the Road Traffic Act in the same way as cars and buses, certainly not in the days when Brum had a tram network! |
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mrfs42
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Post by mrfs42 on Oct 5, 2009 22:54:46 GMT
*tongue very firmly in cheek* Oh no, they're not - tramways are only considered to be light railways if they or the undertaking [1] operating them were not in existence before the passing of the 1896 Act. You do understand the difference between Yorkshire (Woollen District) and Yorkshire Woollen District, yes![1.1] I can think of several tramways that were quite definitely tramways (that ran 'trams') in the legal term, but came into existence many decades before the 1896 Act (Pontop, Nantlle, Croesor, Buxworth) Next you'll say that omnibuses were operated by a light railway - Swilly and Donegal 'buses notwithstanding. (big winking smiley) [2] [1] operators, rather than 'we solemnly swear to use Absolute Block and Facing Point Locks aaand possibly tail-lamps on 'break-vans , but not time interval. Oh no not us *we* don't run on line-of-sight, honestly! Shall we leave the details for the town clerks to work out?' ;D [1.1] I do realise that 1906 is a decade later than 1896......... [2] exchange tickets? Contractual obligations?  |
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roythebus
Pleased to say the restoration of BEA coach MLL738 is as complete as it can be, now restoring MLL721
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Post by roythebus on Oct 6, 2009 18:04:03 GMT
Urban myth? Methinks not. My contact was one Alec Duff who was one of the managers at Birmingham City Tramways at the time!
There is indeed a speed limit of 25mph on light railways! Whether the police could these days enforce it on a tramway is a moot point, but we're going a bit off thread here!!
A bit like the landlord of a Watneys pub in Calshot Street, N1 in the late 1960's, a jovial Irish fellow who drove trolleybuses out of Edmonton, until, one noght, finishing, he told us he thought he'd overtake the bus in front.
Which he did, there was a clatter, a flash, a bang and all the lights went out. That WAS the last time he drove a trolleybus!! (edited to remove graphic words used to describe the flash and bangs etc)
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2009 21:56:10 GMT
I know they're not LT but they need to be told. Another Eastleigh one concerns the delights that were class 37s. One arrived at the 'down' platform at Eastleigh one afternoon for crew relief. A well known Eastleigh character and ex-Feltham steam man 'Smiffy' got off to hand over to his collegue Rodney. Rodney is one of lifes vertically challenged individuals. In preparation Smiffy had wound the drivers seat down as far as it would go so that Rodney would have huge difficulty seeing over the nose end of the locomotive. As Rodney began to pull away he reached down to use the winding handle to raise the seat as high as it would go so that he could see where he was going. As he struggled to locate the handle he glanced out of the cab back down the platform to see Smiffy running away chuckling and proudly holdng the handle above his head!
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